maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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