i don't like sucking hair
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
im having a threesome with these popsicles
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize