you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
