i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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