Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
