just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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