I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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