Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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