i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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