I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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