The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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