she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
