I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
