So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
