just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
