I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
