I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
