i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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