I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
