It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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