hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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