Whod you bang
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
