I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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