Ambien. No doubt about it.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
