there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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