He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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