i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
