My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
