Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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