This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
