I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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