the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
