She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
