I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
