Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I touched a dick in church today
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
