There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
