They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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