VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I looked at my own cervix.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
