the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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