then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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