Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize