and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize