I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
