I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
