What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
