Your dad touched me again.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
