You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
