i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
