So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
