this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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