How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
