I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize