They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
