dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
