Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
