omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
