Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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